Action plan:
Pick up shots:
- Passing paper.
- Phone, shot of GC walking a different way.
- Add shot of GC between GB throwing paper and entering forest.
-GC
Sounds:
- Change / add music.
- Add sound effects of gasps, gurgles of blood, noises in the forest that make GB nervous / scared. Could be resolved by un-silencing clips to get the background noise of the forest.
Credits:
- Add missing credits.
- Possibly change font and colour.
George Coates 32/60
ReplyDeleteA good variety of shot types have been included here. Music in the latter half of the sequence suggests genre – I am uncertain about the first piece of music. The music should build through the sequence to gradually create tension. Sound is an issue: you have dialogue and once this is over the entire sequence is silent (except the BG music). This doesn’t make sense and it also means the sequence is less suspenseful. There should be diegetic sound to help with making meaning clear – for example, we should hear the phone call, perhaps some sounds from the bushes that would explain why George suddenly becomes so nervous and some sound when George is killed (gasps and gurgles of blood perhaps to add to the horror). You should also look at bridging the sound across some shots (especially during the dialogue). Credits need to be looked at – the font and colour are fine (perhaps a little ‘actiony’ looking though!) but you are missing things like ‘Paramount Pictures Presents’ ‘A George Coates Film’ ‘Title’ etc… Look closely at existing products to get this right. The colour filter works well on the footage and gives it an eerie look. I think the appearance of the killer and his approach to George could be built further in the edit – it is over too quickly and feels a little anticlimactic. Clever sound editing will also help with this (see previous comments on sound).
George Coates 14/20
ReplyDeletePlanning and research is complete. There is some proficient research into similar products with conventions of openings explored and some sound analysis of horror openings and conventions of horror sub-genres. An opportunity for further research has been missed with casting, location shots, wardrobe decisions and props – you could have included some comparisons of existing products as a way of showing how you have followed conventions. The research around titles is also lacking – I would like to see more analysis of the option you came up with Research into a potential target market is the higher end of basic with a horror audience profile and some audience feedback gathered about own idea (and even changes made based on these opinions). To improve, I would like to see you analysing how you might appeal to your target audience through the decisions you have made/are making. Organisation of actors, locations, costumes and props is proficient – there are audition tapes which shows a casting process, shooting schedules, group messages and clear reasoning provided on decisions made (see previous comments on how these could possibly be improved further). I would also have liked to have seen photos or on set footage to show you at work. There is excellent work on shotlists (with multiple drafts submitted in detail), storyboarding (animatic) and scripting (3 drafts with comments on changes). The level of presentation varies – there are some excellent posts that use images, videos, effective Prezis and online software such as Powtoon. But, on the other hand, there are text only posts that are less engaging – your diary for example. Time management has been excellent.